Some days are stranger than others. As I was getting ready and looking forward to the next shooting days, my health told me “you have to postpone those days for later…”.
I must say it brings me a bit down….because I really enjoy this project !
I like it because it forces me to reconsider myself, my beliefs and certainties. I enjoy it as well because of the great energy brought by all the participants (actors, inhabitants, authorities, pets, sound designers, editors, etc…). This makes the outcome even more interesting as I can’t believe, unless I am totally blind, that the movie that will be created out of all this cannot be touching.
As the snow falls down outside, I ask myself if it is naive ? Am I naive ?
When I started what I can define as my first professional career – actually my first job, all I had in mind was to be the best, to establish my situation, to reach a well deserve management position, well to be the number one so …well so what ? so everybody would be proud of me, and I could show I had all the attributes of a happy successful man.
I must say I am part of that generation whose parents asked them to reach a better life level ; become a doctor, a lawyer or get any important role in the society. Be better than us son. A great advice, but for parents born right after the war, the model of success isn’t what today’s parents teach and hope for the Y or Z generations. At least I hope.
Was then my behaviour naive as well ?
When I left the straight path to a future senior management, which was the logical next step, I followed a decision – hardly followed actually – that I had made 10 years before. Moving from the so close recognized success to climb another ladder.
I embraced the change not knowing how much it would affect my entire life.
I started the Art University on the late, with the idea I would build my network and get successful soon as well. Making movies, working in that industry and there as well getting rewarded with all the panoply of the leader.
Naivety again ?
Or just trying to find a mirror ? But as such doesn’t exist, you go on as long as you can continue to tailor your costume, and sometimes, maybe too late, you find that mirror, on a hard time, tough life experience, and you look at yourself and realize you like the concept of what your role became, sometimes as ridiculous as those old generals that don’t have anymore space on their chest for new medals.
Actually I think I want to remain a bit naive. I want to believe the unexpected cannot be bad. I want to believe life is not to get trapped in a box and that this is the only way for blossoming. I naively believe as well that blossoming doesn’t always have to do with happiness or with a pre-baked model.
The pursuit of the unexpected can’t be done if you aren’t naive.
Being naive is being able to believe. And being able to believe is getting vulnerable.
And getting vulnerable, is feeling the different moments of our lives…which to me is one of the biggest strength you can have…
So now, the only thing I dream of, is to go outside,…and build a snowman…in a couple of days…once I’d feel better.
And no matter if the weather forecast is rain…