Christmas, New year’s, travels , vacations, work….a bit of everything and there we are in Feb, Olympics are coming (actually starting tomorrow) and I have the feeling I was publishing my last note yesterday !
So what’s new on this bright snowy 2014 ? Well time to finish the shooting of the documentary and to move onto the editing. A lot of images have been collected and I realized how much work it has been and how much will be needed to finalize the movie ; and do you believe me if I say I feel calm about it ? Most of what I imagined about the shooting turned out to be wrong and the concept of the movie I had on paper is far away from…what the movie is going to be ! I can feel , somehow, that the deep meaning is still there, but the form totally changed. And still will ! A great lesson for my nerves , as I am someone who likes to work fast and efficiently, in a sort of urge for the result, in a race for success ?
Meantime I came back to a forgotten and neglected passion : mountaineering. As I mentioned I grew up – despite my origin and birth place in south america – in what a lot of people would call altitude pastures / mountain surroundings / cow paradise / Heidi set ! and because of not being from there…my only wish was to escape and to go and embrace the big world. Large cities, urban life and concrete were synonyms of elegance and refinement : the true success and a nice replacement of the countryside farmers barns, a “no future” place for me.
So these last months I’ve been – to sort of quote Jon Krakauer – like a former alcoholic that wouldn’t have been drinking for 20 years that a sudden one week binge drinking brought back to an advance use of his “elbow raising abilities”. All this in a less dangerous way ? Maybe, so far…
This comeback to a beloved activity helped me to find again an inner peace, a certain connection with some important roots to those green pastures I wanted to escape from. It taught me once again things a knowledge and behaviours I knew and actually the most important these days : I never cared about the goal and always have been more interested by the journey. Mountain tops will always be there. I might not. If I focus only in achieving – just like when I escaped from this little closed and preserved green area to chase my ” bestself a sort of master of the world”- even when reaching my goal I am not satisfied. No change, no living the moment of the journey. Just sucking it up until making it and then needing more…
I believe things come naturally to you by a wonderful power that anyone can call chance, wisdom, belief or faith. I started that movie at the right time, when a call hit me. Where did it come from…I don’t know. I just believe I was strong enough to hear it. It reshuffled and broke my “selfbuilt thirsty for success” instincts and helped me in finding some older instincts, more genuine, stronger, that a very important place and community of my life taught me once. A way of doing that doesn’t stop you from being succesful. Just in another way. A better way.
I was close from loosing it all. Close from stretching that bond to the rupture point.
Good it didn’t happen. Good for me. For my work. For today. For my future pace.
So let’s go and enjoy this 2014 ! What else can I wish you all ?